Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Looking ahead and staying here.

Ahhh Here we go--Again!

Welcome (or welcome back) to our blog! I'm honestly not sure where to go with this blog. So many questions fill my mind. Is this a family update, talks from the heart, work being published, an exercise of the written word once again... yes i guess it is.

I'm sitting here at a old rickety yellow desk in our 2nd floor apartment right above the street. Espen naps and Ryan is wrapping up some things for work, and I have the day off. It's time to exercise and work my voice a little. My writing voice. It's the week of Christmas, 4 days in fact until Christmas day. I'm neutral. Of course I adore family time and wish time would slow down in those moments. I love having a break off work. I love this time to reflect on the beautiful story of our Savior coming to deliver His people from their oppression. Sometimes I try to get into Mary's head and ponder with her the things she would accomplish, or her son for that matter! I'm amazed at her obedience and willingness....
There are a few more gifts to pick up but i'm putting it off until tomorrow.

When Fall blows in, I get excited and start looking for all my sweaters. Even though I won't be really needing them until January I must put them close. The pumpkins start rolling out and appearing everywhere, we start to plan Espen's birthday. October 31st comes and goes way too fast. I soak up every day until Thanksgiving. Now that's my favorite holiday. The noise and sounds of Christmas start ringing and getting louder... yes I love this time of year but I'm mostly looking forward to New Years. For the same reason I like Mondays. It's a fresh start. I get to dream and make new plans.
Though I'm still formulating in my mind what my "new list" for the new year will be, There are a few things that rise to the top of the ever evolving list.

* Less Hulu, More reading
* I want to cook more
* More writing singing and playing

But most of all I want to make our home a place I want to be. We are transient by nature and mind, but Bishop Taban from Southern Sudan said one thing in early december when visiting our church... "You can't bloom unless you've been planted."
I want that. I'm not sure really how that would look for our little family, but I think I'm a little more ready than before.
Ryan and I have done a lot of talking and crying and waiting this last year. Living in the struggle of our will vs. God's will...our dreams and what's laying here before us, and we feel like 2011 is a year for us to get ready. For what? I'm not sure. I desire to hear God's voice, see His hand position and move us to where He can use us. We are willing. So willing.
So when I think about the new year, i just wonder what's next. I feel like i'm always on my tippy toes looking for the next thing.
This might be hard for a visionary like myself, but in 2011, I want to pivot my chair from the window back to the living area. This is where we are. This is where we love. This is where we're made ready. We will go and do, no doubt about that. This is where we are investing in memories...for the time being.
Trust. Patience. Rest. Deep planting is what I want to grow in this year.
A quiet grounded feeling for stability and balance like on a dance floor.

Ready Willing Waiting Resting. That's me.

Lindey