better things...

It's Ryan,
just wanted to say some things because i don't blog very often.

this might get long, so please hang on... i have to say it.

There's a closet in Espen's room in our new place. It's kinda becoming a storage place for seasonal decorations, extra blankets... things that don't store well in a garage, but can't just sit out in the living room. It's also become the dwelling place for a few of my guitars. My acoustic sleeps under our bed, but there are 5 more guitars that found their home in the dark closet in Espen's room. It's the best place for them since we moved back to Dallas.

I've seen many music DVDs and interviews with artist, writers, musicians, singers... they always seem to do the interview in this great home studio where the walls are covered with vintage guitars that they've played over the years. Sometimes they'll pull one down and relive the story behind when and where they bought it. They'll go into a story about the time they played it at some big stadium, or when they used it in the studio on they're first gold record. Maybe it's a vintage electric piano, or drum kit... Whatever the instrument, i've longed for that day. The day when I'm on a music DVD, or whatever the media is in that day, and i'm talking about all the shows and the records, and i can pull down my guitars and say "i've had this one since i was 17, i bought it from a friend of mine who..." and the stories will go on and on. So i've always said to my self that i wouldn't get rid of any of my gear, and i would only collect more.

I often criticize people (to myself and lindey) about their constant quest for "things". It's especially easy to do so living in Dallas. There are people everywhere who are on this unending quest for more things, bigger stuff, newer cars, more toys... it's truly never ending. I realize that there is temporary solace in finding something new... There's nothing like getting a new car and sitting in it for the first time, taking in a deep breath of that "new car smell." It's a fun thing to open the garage and pick which ATV you want to ride that day. It's a blast going to the lake with the new boat with a bunch of friends. I like the way new cloths feel, and cool shoes, and jeans. Even as a guy, i like the idea of having a cool bag to carry my stuff around in... there were times when i had 3 or 4 to chose from. I've thought for a while that i was over that stage.

I thought that i had risen above needing the approval of people, or wanting them to notice me... i am in some areas. I don't care what someone thinks of me in most cases. I don't care if someone likes my shirt. It doesn't matter to me if you dig my shoes, or if you know that i bought them at Buffalo Exchange, and someone else used to put their feet in them... I don't care. i've worn the same jacket for the last 4 years... which was also preowned, i don't care. I wear one of two pair jeans almost every day... i don't care if you notice. I'm really over caring what you think of the way i look. I do make sure that Lindey likes what she sees, but she's about the only one that matters in that area.

Since Espen joined us in this life, i've even taken that focus further. My first priority in every situation is Espen and Lindey. Nothing that anyone else is doing or saying ranks as high the two of them. Everything else is secondary to them... of course God is my first thing, but anything else falls short. and by saying God is first, i don't by any stretch mean church. i've found that God and Church can be quite different, but that's another blog all together. My point is that if Lindey and Espen aren't welcome, don't expect me.

Back to my original point... I'm not here to impress. There are better things.

I thought i was doing good with this area of my life until i thought back over our recent move to Dallas. There were so many things to do before that move. Packing up all the 2400 square feet of our house, Renting the truck and trailer, taking care of canceling all the services that we've signed up for, making sure everyone has our new address, settling everything at our new apartment, packing the truck, hoping everything fits... on and on it went. But what was one of the last things i packed? my guitars. I didn't want them to sit out in the car and get cold. I made sure they were not stacked under things or near things that could damage them. How would that look some day on my interview if i pull out a guitar and say "this one was broken in half by an ironing board because i packed it wrong when we moved to Dallas." These are the thoughts that went through my head. so, they were packed carefully. And now they sit in my sons closet.

please hang on... i'm getting to my point.

I've had many conversations with people in the past, and often times it is said, "don't you have like 9 guitars?" or "how many guitars do you have now?" Then i'll go into the list... i'll start counting on my fingers and naming each one. "there's the '61 reissue strat, the telicaster, the telisonic, the les paul, the 1959 es330, the taylor 714ce, and the Tak. nylon string..." and so on. Then we'll go on to the guitars i still want for my "collection".

My dictionary says that "collect" means "to accumulate or store up over time." really... aren't there better things to store up?

Like i said, i thought i didn't care what people think.
but I've noticed that when i'm around musicians, i do care what they think. Secretly inside, i hope they will ask me about my gear. If they are at my house, i want them to oooh and ahhh over my stuff... my music stuff. We had a concert at our house in Houston a few months back, and a lot of musician friends were there. after the show, i couldn't wait to take them upstairs to see my music room. Couldn't wait 'til they saw the '59 Gibson... the drum kit, the 1950's piano/organ... stuff, all of it just stuff.... there are better things.

For a few months now, i've had this ongoing dialogue with my self... (that looks weird when you type it out)
It kinda goes like this:
Me: why don't you sell some of your guitars, you don't need them all, you don't play them all

Me: but if i get rid of one, how will i build my collection? I need to have a bunch so that my walls are full some day.

Me: you can get another one some day, but you only bring them out when you want to show how many you have.

so, on and on this inner discussion would go... for months...

I don't know what the final thought was that caused it, but i've resolved to get rid of some stuff. I don't need 7 guitars. Maybe some day i'll have a cool collection, but it won't be my "go to" thing when talking to my friends. It won't be a source of pride.... that's why i've kept them. i've been proud of the fact that i play guitar, and i have cool guitars to play. i don't need a bunch of toys to show off.

I've often dreamed of the day when i can sit Espen down, hand him a guitar from my collection and tell him how i got it, what it means to me, all the gigs we've done together...

i'd rather sit him down, hand him a bible, or talk to him about Jesus and tell him how i came to know Him, what He means to me, all the "gigs" we've done together... I'd rather Espen see that Christ is my favorite thing, not my guitars, or music... they're just things

so my prayer is that the Holy Spirit would continue to show me things like this...

character things...

better things...


and may He do the same in you.

simply, ryan

A story lives on

Last night Ryan and I watched The Nativity Story. If you've seen it before watch it again! If you're never seen it, please see it! Directed by Catherine Hardwicke.
Ryan said last night that when churches and groups put on a pageant at this time about the story of a little king coming into the world to save us all, we forget the simple wonder and mystery of it all. One silent night God became flesh, he came to be our liberator. We celebrate Him today.

Happy Christmas

Drafted a week or so ago.....forgot to post i guess.....

What a wonderful day! We came down to my fam's place where Anna flew in from StL and Holly and Lydia drove in from Michigan. Lydia went up to help Holly pack to move back! So we were all together including my G'parents, Chet and Janet for lunch. Eating delicious ham and deviled eggs (kind of a tradition) green beans, potatoes, and a pineapple dish which actually didn't make it to the table because we simply forgot to put it on the table!
Christmas in the McWilliams family is stretched out as long as possible. Lots of table talk, tons of laughing....my face hurt today from all of it. Ryan Espen and I arrived at about 10 am, we ate at 12:30 and got up from the table around 3. And of course when present time came which was after a lengthy dessert and more stories and all of us singing a line of the twelve days of Christmas in a round all singing very loudly on lines 5 and 1, we open all the gifts one at a time. Since we all gave each other something it took another 2 hours or so....which is great. Espen loved all of his books, and balls, and caterpillar talking thing and elmo cell phone, the rest of us received Toms shoes, which supplied that many more kids with a pair of shoes. Many more things were passed out, it was like a small and big Christmas all in one. Also when we all get together now its like a big photo shoot....which is ok with me! :)
Most of us live here in Dallas now which is weird to get used to again, Holly moved back and we moved back and we're in a mode where it feels like we need to start getting ready to pack up and travel back--but not really! crazy.
Tomorrow we head to the Duckworths to spread some more cheer, so more updates are on their way.

All is well

So much has transpired since the last blog! I don't even know where to begin.
We are back in Dallas. We love being near our families again, and some dear friends. We are apart of a great church and home group already! Actually some members of our new home group came to help us move in, which we are so grateful for!
Ryan and I have already had our Christmas in a way....we purchased a camera and I can't wait to post all the pics we take with it. Well as of right now there are way too many to post at one time.
Espen is adjusting well to our new place. We live at the Shops at Legacy which is a community of shops and restaurants, lofts and apartments. It is also a dog community so it is perfect for Espen! Since he loves dogs and loves to say the word, he stands at our kitchen door which over looks the courtyard where all the dogs and the walkers come to play and do their business. He stands at the glass and barks at them and says "look"!
We are fully moved in and every box unpacked...we love the location too! We're excited.

And Christmas Time is here! I love this time of making soup and drinking Chai Tea, having every excuse to eat sweets and more sweets and look at all the lights. Our neighborhood has all the lights set up and its fun to drive around and show Espen all the lights.

More later of course!

Happy Christmas!

On the first day of advent....

these pics are from my phone, hope they're clear enough.

If you can't find an advent calendar (like me-I've been looking for a month now) make one! I'm not really a theme person but I have this little theme going for Christmas decor....well when we get to our apartment in Dallas...it's turquoise and cranberry red. All of these things I found at Hobby Lobby. I've been taking notes reading my friends Aina and Liz's blogs how to describe projects.... :)

All you need....
-Felt (any color you like)
-A make-it-yourself frame
-Cork Board
-Metallic Stickers
-Thumb Tacks
-Paint
(cost about $16)

Make something for the Holidays!